If You Want Me to RSVP, Then You Need to Actually Invite Me

I returned the RSVP card for a wedding earlier this week, and it made my think of this piece from the archives where I struggled with RSVPs for my sister-in-law’s bridal shower. Titled “RSVP A Cultural Construct?,” it examined the obligations that invitations carry. The following has been edited from its original posting for clarity and relevance, and presents a some new thoughts on the matter ...

One wedding gift will suffice

Dear Miss Manners: How many wedding gifts do you give? One for the engagement, one for each shower and one for the wedding. Is this correct? Gentle Reader: The answer Miss Manners will give you is not what you would hear from most engaged couples or those who aid and abet them.